
|
Published on January 10, 2005, by Greg for the Ex-'Burgher. Not many websites can travel to the future, but The Ex-'Burgher can. So we trekked off into the not-too-distant to see how the Steelers would fare against the Colts this Sunday. What does the future look like, you say? Let's pick it up with Bill, Tunch and Chris Berman in the second half:
After recovering another Pittsburgh onside kick and a quick loss of three by James, the Colts are looking at 2nd down as we start the 3rd quarter. Manning drops back, and he is sacked by James Farrior! It’s now third and long, and
He’s sacked again, “More Expensive Heating” Bill! Where DOES he come up with those?
After a great punt return by Antwaan Randle El, the Bus carries the ball, and.. He scores! The Colts have no answer for Jerome’s “run up and down” strategy, and the Steelers extend their lead to 35-16. The guys at ESPN are going to be really pissed when I tell them we can’t use any of our pre-taped “Patriots vs. Colts” stories. I mean REALLY pissed.
After a quick Colts three-and-out during our station identificationincluding two sacks by James Farriorthe Steelers have the ball at midfield in the waning moments of the third quarter. Ben stands from the gun. He scans the field, fires… Complete to Hines “Tears of” Ward! What. The. Hell. Does. That. Mean. Touchdown! Ward’s second score of the game, and the Steelers lead 42-16 as time expires on the third quarter!
The Steelers kick it deep, and the Colts begin the final frame from their own 27. Manning hands off to James, and he breaks one. He’s rumblin’ bumblin’ stumblin’! He could. Go. All. And he’s taken down at the 13 yard line, where the Colts start first and ten.
The Colts give to James, and he stumbles forward to the ten. Peyton’s willingness to check down this season has really helped the Colts. Maybe he just doesn’t want to blow this game himself. After an incomplete pass, the give is to James again, and he is down at the four. It’s fourth down, and the Colts will have to go for it. The Steelers should definitely be playing pass on this one. They might even “pick the right play” here.
And Manning is sacked with 3:16 to play! This Indianapolis crowd is stunned!
The way the clock has been going in this game, the Steelers can afford to play it conservative here. They do, and the give is to the Bus, who is stuffed for a loss of 1. I think that was Dwight “Tears of” Freeney. I think he’s broken.
After an incompletion and a ten yard grab by Tuman, it’s 4th and 1. And Bill Cowher is gonna go for it. What in the name of Pete Carroll is going on here? Sadly, I have to agree.
The pass is complete to Dan Kreider, who picks up the Steeler first down! And the game is just about locked up! Unless Cowher throws for no reason. Which he does. An incompletion. And another. And the Steelers face third and ten. Bill Belichick would have drop-kicked, and it would have been worth like 60 points. I’m telling you.
The Bus breaks free once again, and he’s down the sideline! Whumpwhumpwhumpwhump The Bus has really got their number today, Bill! I’d bet his condition is up to at least “Good” by now!
After a Jerame Tuman catch (what is that, like five?) brings the Steelers to the one, the game is in its final seconds. The give is to--who else?--the Bus! Whumpwhumpwhump That’s it. He’s dead. The Bus is in and the kick is good! With two seconds remaining, the Steelers lead 49-16! All they have to do is kick off, and this one’s over, Bill.
Oh, Cowher. You so silly.
Author's note: This story wouldn't be possible without help from the guys at The Tecmo Super Bowl Repository. Thanks, guys.
----Greg Back to the Ex-'Burgher. |